talk to the saint part 2

POSTED ON Friday, July 06, 2007 AT 23:56 by saint cupcake

the following is a transcript of a REAL message left on our voicemail. seriously. i really wish you could hear it. i am surely going to save it and listen to it now and again. in her second sentence, the lady gets herself real worked up and is hollering.

tuesday, july 3, 2007 12:39pm:

 hi. i’m trying to find out if you have any trans fats in your muffins and the girl in the belmont store hasn’t got a clue and the other store doesn’t answer the phone and you have all these messages with these strange hours that you’re open and it’s different everyday and it’s confusing and i bet if i come in there you have really uncomfortable seats, too, not even soft ones. so WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO PATRON YOUR ESTABLISHMENT? you just make life difficult for people and if you didn’t have trans fats in your muffins, you should advertise it on your stupid long message but that would add one more thing. ok, no, the message is fine. it’s good to have the information, but you know what? every now and again a person answering the phone or the person who works for you should know if you have trans fats in your muffins. don’t you at least train these people to know these things? how stupid can you be?

unfortunately tuesdays caller left no name or number, so we were unable to call her back. hopefully she is reading this blog entry so i can answer her question.

hi lady. while we don’t have any trans fats in any of our CUPCAKES, and while we do train our employees to know that, you may have found the girl at the belmont store confused because she was unaware we carried muffins. poor thing must have felt way out of the loop. also, at the belmont store, we don’t have seating but stephanie from noun sells really comfortable chairs that you can take to go! AND funny you should mention soft chairs! jami just bought a bunch of new chairs for the nw shop and reupholstered them herself! they are cute AND squishy! your crazy ass will love them! and sorry about the long message; we had a mid week holiday and people were calling alot to find out our hours that week so we thought we might leave it on our out going message.

thanks for calling! 

talk to the saint

POSTED ON Wednesday, June 27, 2007 AT 17:15 by saint cupcake

Dear Saint Cupcake, 

      How come Haley’s name isn’t on your website?

Yours,
Haley’s Mom

Dear Haley’s Mom,

Here is Haley’s name. Although her name never appeared on our website until now, Haley is a HUGE part of what keeps this place going. We’d for sure be lost without her. She is one busy girl. And she has a great disposition.

Thanks for your message, Haley’s mom. We love her and we can tell you do, too.

What would this world be like without Haley? There’d be one sad corgi on our hands.

Back at you,

Saint Cupcake 

Dear info@saintcake.com,

Hi ! I’m from Russia and I would like to meet  kind man to be my guide and maybe more.
So if you haven’t  wife or girlfriend now, you may reply.
I’m going to work in USA for five months. My friends  tell I look well enough.
Please send your letter directly  to my email mary.******@gmail.com
(this is mary.***** at gmail.com) and i send my foto to you.
I am waiting for your reply. Buy, your Mary

Dear Mary,

I can’t begin to tell you how honored I am that you have found me. I am, however, just a cupcake, standing in front of a cinnamon roll asking it to love her. No, seriously, though, thanks. I am sure you’re friends are right about you. You’re too sweet. Sweet and Russian, that is.

Love, (but not in that way)

Saint Cupcake